I am very bad at caption contests.

For some reason they make my brain shrivel up like a poked spider. Various manuals on writing sport the idea that you have a censor or editor version of yourself, and the key thing is to know the right time to invite that editor in. Not too soon, or your fledgling ideas will die without being given a chance to develop; not too late or you may have become too attached to your sonnet about soft cheese to give it the burial it deserves.

As soon as I try to dream up a line for a caption contest, that censor me crashes through the door, Sweeney style, and tells me anything I say may be taken down and used against me as evidence that I am utterly deluded and need a change of career.

As Joe pointed out, it's interesting to consider whether a cartoon contest winner is still funny if you imagine that a cartoonist had just presented that line with the cartoon … Or is it a special kind of funny that is fuelled by the knowledge that someone added the line later?

At which point, over to you. There's an image above we're setting as a caption contest. Once we've got 50 entries in we'll pick a winner and they will get a signed copy of Berger and Wyse Food Cartoons.

Spread the (lack of) word! … PW